You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
