Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
