brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
