She is in my trunk
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
