Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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