Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
