wrigley field is MILF paradise
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
