i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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