Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
