I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
