at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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