i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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