Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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