I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I love how my cats smell like pot.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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