I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
