To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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