ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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