Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
