i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
