you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
