Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
