VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
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