Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Damn victory sex feels great
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
