so that wasnt chicken after all
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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