you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
