For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
