I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
