I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
