I wish life had little blips of pornography
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
