Its about making memories worth repressing
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I can't put those talents on a resume
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
