I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
