I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
