I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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