..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we're making bets on your personal life
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We left the knife in your bed.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
