her vagina looked like bernie madoff
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
