she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I am naked and annoyed.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
