we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
And then he peed in my hair
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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