So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize