How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
