My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
