Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
