I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
