Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
