Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
