This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Randomize
