I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
