My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
