i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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