You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize