He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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