maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
