your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
3 2 1 whiskey
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
