I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
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