your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
