How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
