Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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